Sobriety

I haven't had a drink in over six weeks. My GOD, life is boring without booze.

But alas, I recognized that 35 years of drinking had culminated in a daily drinking pattern that once I'd started,
I didn't want to stop, and ultimately I'd end my day drunk, tired, irritable and downright unpleasant by 9pm.
And I was looking forward to 5pm a little too much, aching to get home to mix a martini.

I also recognized that my drinking was an obstacle to my relationship with God. I recognized
that my chances of achieving the union with God that I so desire were much improved if I wasn't
putting alcohol between me and the fierce reality of the big huge tough work that a relationship
with God, IN God requires.

So, life is a little boring...so much of my social life centered around alcohol and the truth
for me is that I'm not ready to be around drinkers, I feel so disconnected from the "pulse"
that alcohol creates. I've been concerned about how my relationship with Chris would be
affected, and ultimately, I think my not drinking has been a positive change for us. The term
"enabling" certainly applied to our drinking behavior and I found that it excluded Jesse
as well, since Chris and I would get into this groove of conversation that would often end up
heavy and over Jesse's head and he'd just go off and do his own thing.

I truly miss it though, just like I've missed smoking cigarettes with cocktails all these
years. But I do feel healthier, and happier and don't wake up with a headache every morning
and I feel more peaceful, knowing that today, there is one less obstacle that I'm creating
between myself and the Creator.

Namaste`,
Connie