Wednesday, February 07, 2007

I don't know what to do

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do!

Tell the truth.

I'm bored with my life and I don't know what to do about it. I keep thinking I must
DO something with my life when what I should be doing is experiencing my life
as it is in this moment, filled with grace and warmth and comforting things and
people who love me and pets who love me even more and ask nothing of me
other than to feed them and take them for a walk and somehow it just doesn't
feel like ENOUGH!

On Sunday I had a spiritual epiphany. I was moved to tears by the anthem sung
by the choir at church. "Here I am Lord". I moved from tears to weeping and from
weeping to sobbing and then the sun was shining on my face through a pane of glass
at least hundreds of years old and I was surrounded by a community of people all
gathered together in one place, each experiencing their personal relationship with God.
I felt myself surrender a little more to this entity know as Christ. Not the historical Christ,
not the literal Christ Jesus who walked the earth for 33 years 2007 years ago. Not the MAN
but the consciousness. Not the MAN, but the energy of Divine that is capable of manifesting
itself in every human being.

Ricki Lee Jones has recorded a new album, an interpretation of the actual words that
Jesus spoke. After ten years as an Episcopalian, this is what I've heard from the mouth
of Christ:

"Go in peace to love and serve your God."
"Love your God above all others."
"Love your neighbor, as yourself."
"Love one another. Forgive one another".

That's about it. That's the crux of what the sky God felt the folks of the middle eastern
region of the planet Earth needed to hear 2000 years ago. So he sent a teacher, a rabbi. And
word got around that you didn't need an interventionist to talk to Abba...a term of
endearment for Father. Jesus said, just tallk to Him.

Just as Taoist and Buddhists teach that simplicity is the way to enlightenment, I think
that was Jesus' message too. And I guess it boils down to the fact that being in
relationship with a God or with self; whether your purpose is to lose your ego and
make your mind like the empty sky or attempting to go in peace to serve something
Divine in each of us and in this beautiful world, the truth is that it can feel like big huge
tough work to simply get out of bed and love yourself in a day.

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