Mad as Hell. Not gonna take it anymore. Profanity warning: there is some

There has been a convicted child molester in my life for about a year.  I don't recall asking for this specific gift, but alas, it was bestowed.  I've written others letters to this individual on this blog, so if you're curious, the information is probably available. 

 

But here's the thing:  I first  thought the lesson was forgiveness.  I forgave.  I did not judge.  I wrote letters to jail. 

We went for sushi not long after his release and I played the angel who asks, "if you had your choice, what would the karmic payback for what you did be?"  It was not a rhetorical question, AND I did not expect a forthright answer.    I asked him to tell me when he had an answer.     NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

I have not felt  empowered, as a survivor of childhood sex abuse,  by the experience of forgiving.  In fact, I'm mad as hell.  

He showed up unannounced at my studio and  after fifteen minutes of listening to his arrogant whining, this is what I said: 

"I am not here for you to dump your shit one".  

"I'm not dumping shit..."

"Yes, you are, that is how I'm experiencing this.  And it's the same old shit that you've been dishing out for all your 33 years.  I am not here for that.  I am here as a spiritual director, not to listen to whine and make excuses for your deplorable behavior.   Get over yourself.    And by the way, your karma payback for getting so drunk you molested your live-in girlfriends  12 year old daughter is 12 years of CELIBACY . You don't deserve anything for what you did to that little girl.  12 years Brandon, now get the fuck out of here".

"I'm sorry, Connie!" 

Brandon, tell it to the child whose healthy sexuality you robbed her of. 

You are a thief.  You cannot be trusted. 

Could I find the Divine in you, I'd honor it.