Leaving them Behind

I dreamt of Michael Mattson last night.
I have been dreaming Michael Mattson for 34 years,
since he extracted my virginity with his finger while I slept.
On the symbolic dream level, he represents my animus, my male sexual, warrior energy.
I met his mother last night in the dream time.
She came to me as a crone with politically radical views.
Michael lived to make her life and her work, work.

Images from the dream:

Four women standing at the window of the screened back porch, watching the four men in the backyard get high.

Mike in the kitchen, preparing food, kissing me on the lips, my desire rising, in time wtih his penis.
He said we needed to wait because I was ovulating.

He spelled his mother's name for me:
Pogue.

I returned to his home, unannounced.
He was grilling meat/ beef specifically.
Thick steaks that were mouth-wateringly attractive.
I became conscious that his anger and energy were not a healthy choice to engage with.
I looked him in the eye with love and told him I hoped he'd call me.
I walked away down the dirt driveway...at the end was a tall juniper.
As I turned left I was illuminated by the headlights of a fire-truck.
I looked to my right, a huge yellow moon rising up behind tall pines.
The truck passes, followed by a smaller one.
There is a fire in East.
I walk down this road, into the West.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later:
I am trying to arrange to be transported to Philadelphia by curling up in the bottom rack of a freezer.