I had a dream last night that revealed the face of the beloved to me. It was a fleeting glimpse but I recognized the face, which is one not of this world, or at least I haven't met it yet. I felt an incredible sense of longing, while at the same time a revelatory knowledge that something deep was being revealed, something we wait for all our lives.
There is a beloved in each and every one of us and it is our true selves, naked in our true nature of all that is pure and divine and crystalline within our cell tissue. Perhaps our minds just need to put a face on it so that we can appreciate it's nature as human as well as Divine.
My experiences of the past fall are the antithesis of embracing the beloved. There are people we meet who call out our highest nature and there are those who speak to our baser needs and desires, and in my case, brought out the very worst in me. So, it is the work now, to look and learn from these qualities that must be experienced on the spiritual path to enlightenment. Desire, deception, selfishness, superficiality, arrogance and grasping at the material. "The very worst in me", means those facets of my personality that I reject as un-lovable and unacceptable, but aren't I rejecting the shadow side of my "light" nature in that process of rejection?
I've spent 3/4 of my years asleep and unconscious. I operated from desire, deception, selfishness, a shallow understanding of humanity, arrogance and grasping at the material. All the time longing for God or the Beloved. I thought in my awakening that I would be free of all that, but my friend, let me tell you that I was dead wrong. It's easy to forgive myself my errors while unconscious, but having awakened, the falls from grace are so much more humiliating and that tells me that this lesson has been about pride and it's place in my life.
Always, there is more to contemplate.
May you be well and happy,
Connie
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