Cancer is invisible, insidious and a silent killer. Lucy doesn't know she has cancer. She doesn't behave as though she is dying. Last night we went for a late walk and she chased rabbits and toddled along our circular route like any other night. The most obviously symptom of her illness is her short and shallow breathing. Her eyes are not as bright though, her prana, life force, is not high.
I'm grateful for the hours and hours I get to spend with her in a day. Yesterday I was away for only three hours and the rest of the day was spent in companionship and sharing the same space. I love being with Lucy. I am working on letting go of the illusion that we are separate, for indeed, I know that nothing separates us but the illusion of physical form created by the specific structure of our molecular, cellular, atomic "selves". I hope to retain the essence of Lucy after her body has died. I'm reminded of that song, "I know you by heart". I know Lucy by heart, she is my heart, outside of my body.
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