Oh dear God, I did the silliest thing yesterday! The last thing I did before leaving the house was pull a frozen entree out of the freezer for lunch at the studio. When I got home at 5pm, the freezer door was wide open and all food in the freezer was defrosted. What kind of fool doesn't close the freezer door!
I'm telling you, this menopause short term memory loss is simply astonishing at times. I have put alot of energy over the years into being "on top" of things but it has become apparent that that is just no longer possible. I am now forced to embrace this inner ding-bat that I buried so long ago when being in control and being on top and being successful and approved of and being popular and being attractive were what I thought I needed to survive. Now? Eh, not so much!
I made a big passage yesterday as well: at the grocery store where I was restocking the now empty and CLEAN freezer, I was offered the senior citizen discount. "Oh my God, are you kidding me? I'm gonna go back to coloring my hair!" The checker Annette said, "we gotta ask everybody". So I let go of ego and said, "sure, I'll take the discount, thank you!" I'm just glad she didn't card me! I've still got five years before I'm a bona fide deserving recipient of that 5% discount at Marketplace!
In as much as the first half of my life may have been in the pursuit of "getting together", I'm beginning to realize that the second half of my life, (or hell, the last weeks of my life, for who knows when they will die? My life could have half over YEARS ago!) that the lessons will be in the letting go. My new mantra: let go, let go, let go.
Om shanti,
Peace~
Connie
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